Four years today...

March 13, 2018

     When it comes to my life, there is no doubt in my mind that I’m meant to be more than a voice on the radio.  It’s evident in my past blogs that my passion is to perform on a greater scale and I’ve even said this several times on the Hawk and Tom Show on B 93.7.  Even with the words said out loud though, the truth is, it’s not until you take action that anything happens.  So I’ve been searching my heart and trying my best to figure out the next path in my life.  After much thought and prayers, my heart keeps being pulled back to the west coast.

     I used to live in Los Angeles in 2011.  I was twenty years old, couldn’t even drink a beer and I was sleeping on an air mattress in a living room.  Every day I tried to do something to help kickoff my career.  I was focusing hardcore on my acting class at Howard Fine Studios and working at the oldest bar in West Hollywood, Barney’s Beanery.  I tried networking as much as I could by even trying out for my acting studio’s softball team, The Fighting Corgis.  Yes, Corgi as in the dog.  I made the team and I would ask off of work for games just so I could have time to mingle with industry professionals.  I thought I was doing it all right but then I moved back to South Carolina.

     There were a couple contributing factors to me moving back home…my sister became pregnant with my first and probably only niece and I had a boyfriend who I was in a long distance relationship with who I wound up living with when I got back.  I didn’t leave because I hated LA.  I actually loved it.  The weather was amazing, the people   were all dreamers, and I felt as if I were my real self out there.  Even when I got back to South Carolina, I got a job as a bartender because I knew it would be beneficial to learn the skills to make more money in LA.  I enrolled at Tri County Tech for a degree in TV/Radio Broadcasting and a semester in, I decided that a job as an On Air Personality could most likely help me with my acting goals.

     Four YEARS later, my resume is still not as stacked as it should be. I have, however moved up the ladder in significance for the radio stations but I have not been creatively satisfied.  I know I need to give it another go in California so I’ve been trying to prepare as much as I can.  Every day I am being proactive and until two days ago, only a handful of people knew about my decision.  Of course they all want me to stay here because they see I am succeeding in the radio world but it’s not what I want.  I don’t want to be a personality, I want to bring characters to life and become someone else! 

     At this exact moment, only a few friends, select family members, and now you know of my decision.  I haven’t even told my boss yet because this blog was never supposed to be a resignation letter.  My intention was just to share the reaction that one of my closest family members had to my choice of moving back west.  At first, I wasn’t going to share it but then I thought, every person with a dream needs to hear this.  This family member has been by my side truly my whole entire life.

             Verbatim, these were the words spoken: You don’t have a pot to piss in.  You’ll live in a car. You’re setting yourself up for failure.  (Referring to me to another family member): She’s not giving it all she has here. Some point in your life you have to accept who you are.

As these words were being said, I typed them out on my cell phone.  I had to, to keep from crying my eyes out.  These words are one of many reasons why I will make it.  I might not have a lot of money to my name and I might very well have to sleep a night or two in my car at some point but I’d rather die tryin’ than be content here knowing I was made for more.  That’s what makes me so lucky…I know exactly who I am and what I was made to do.  This is the point in my life where I trust God completely and know that He is in control.  Not everyone is going to support you but when God tells you in your heart, your head, and your gut altogether that you must do something, DO IT.

      The plan is in motion and I can’t wait to see the blessings God pours on me for obeying.  Because I trust in our Heavenly Father, I don’t want to ask you for money but if you feel inclined to help me, even if it’s just for words of wisdom or prayers, please reach out to me.  Thank you and I’ll let you know more when I have more to say.